The Wikipedia defines the expression as "a metaphorical idiom in English for an obvious problem or risk that no one wants to discuss." It is said to derive from an 1814 fable by Ivan Krylov (1769—1844), poet and fabulist, entitled "The Inquisitive Man"; the protagonist notes many small details of his visit to the museum, but fails to notice an elephant. The same approach might be taken with this photograph of the cats on my mantelpiece.
There are many suggestions about the origins of the expression in English, but my favourite is from a 1935 Broadway musical, Jumbo, in which a police officer stops Jimmy Durante as he leads a live elephant and asks, "What are you doing with that elephant?" Durante's reply, "What elephant?" was a regular show-stopper. Durante reprises the piece in the 1962 film version of the play, Billy Rose's Jumbo, with Doris Day.
The Jimmy Durante example reflects most clearly the true significance of the elephant, which is to deny, tacitly or explicitly, that there is an elephant, despite the fact that its presence is obvious to everyone.
The Oxford English Dictionary gives the first recorded use of the phrase, as a simile, in The New York Times on June 20, 1959: "Financing schools has become a problem about equal to having an elephant in the living room. It's so big you just can't ignore it."[4] This is not a great example, since our experience tells us that there is pretty much no problem, no matter how large, that can't be ignored by most people.
There is a nice example in press release from the Climate Council recently. “The leaked COAG agenda paper indicates Federal Energy Minister, Angus Taylor wants to ignore the elephant in the room. Reducing emissions isn’t even officially up for discussion,” said the Climate Council’s energy expert, Petra Stock.
The artist Banksy illustrated the elephant in the room in this charming artwork, in which the elephant blends nicely into the room.
The poet Terry Kettering has a nice poem about the elephant in the room.
"Can I say his (her) name to you and not have you look away?
For if I cannot, then you are leaving me....
alone....
in a room....
with an elephant"
There are many books - an example is The Elephant in the room: silence and denial in everyday life, by Eviatar Zerubavel (2006). The review in Library thing by devil_llama suggests, rather oddly, that the book tends to ignore the real elephant in the room: "The author spends all too much time on issues like sex (especially presidential sex) which is really no ones business to know about anyway, and all too little time on the real denial issues that are creating serious problems" such as global warming.
The elephant in the room is a much loved, essential and over-used expression. For something which happens so frequently (that is, agreeing not to discuss a plain reality) it is surprising that we do not have a word. The expression is used for book titles, gifs, cartoons, wines and most recently, a Nigerian movie directed by Asurf Oluseyi. The Kilivila language, spoken on the Trobriand islands of Papua New Guinea, has a word, mokita, which means "truth we all know but agree not to talk about."
Other expressions carry similar messages, and the most common relates to the emperor's new clothes.
Why not mention the elephant? The Wikipedia suggests that "the term is often used to describe an issue that involves a social taboo or which generates disagreement, such as race, religion, politics, homosexuality, mental illness, or even suicide. It is applicable when a subject is emotionally charged; and the people who might have spoken up decide that it is probably best avoided."
All the same, there are some elephants in the room which cannot be ignored.
They have even ignored the clear sign "Please keep to the path."
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